Confessions of a Myopic Procrastinator, Part the First

I'm not what you'd call an efficient painter of figures.

I never seem to have enough time to paint an army to completion these days, and as a result, I have a lot of half-completed armies lying around. The last army I completed was a Warhammer Empire army back in 2000 (now lost), and since then I've accumulated figures for various others without really settling on one particular target.

I'm too easily distracted, and by the time I get home from work, my energy levels are just about up to cooking dinner and sitting back with a good documentary or movie. And now I'm all out of excuses.

A few years back, I chanced upon the GW Ogre Kingdoms figs. I thought they're nice big figures, suitable for painting by a chap with failing eyesight, they're mostly plastics, so the price is kept down, and if by chance I ever get to play with them, I won't need a horde to make an army. Genius!

I began my army and got as far as a Tyrant, a couple of regiments of the big lads (6 and 4 figs respectively) and got started on some Gnoblars, whose tiny size meant that I was stuck at that stage for quite a while.

Well, what with the eyesight having deteriorated to the point where even Ogres were getting to be a big ask, and getting married, taking an overseas honeymoon, and setting up a new house together at long last with my lovely wife, the whole army thing kind of moved to the back burner. And yes, well-spotted, more excuses right there.

So a couple of months ago, I decided to get some new glasses. Multifocals are a revelation; my close vision is restored, so no more holding books at arm's length! Even better, I might be able to get started on the army once more...

So that's where I am now. The army as it stood a couple of weeks ago consisted of a Tyrant (Army general and pretty much the ultimate multi-wound combat monster when tooled up properly), 6 Bulls (standard Ogre footsloggers), and 4 Ironguts (heavies with 2-handed weapons).








This motley crew has now been joined by an overnight wonder, the Butcher. I was going for a look of ground-in dirt and blood on this guy, and I finished him from undercoat to this point in the course of a day. Clearly revelling in my new-found vision, I even gave him a couple of Gnoblar assistants.

I think he needs a little more work, most notably on the exposed skin, to give it a bit more highlighting. Needs to look a little more unhealthy, perhaps? We'll see how that goes further down the track...

Next project, the Gorger, an unbreakable killing machine who arrives after the battle has kicked off to take the enemy in the rear (cue Frankie Howerd leer).

This one isn't as straightforward as the Butcher (and he certainly needed a lot of putty gap-wise). The Gorger has a lot of flash, and in some awkward places. It's nearly impossible to shift without a drill, since the socket for the upper torso is almost completely blocked. You get the same problem with the arms and head, so there's a lot of cleanup work required before he's ready for assembly. Pinning is definitely on the menu as well, since I don't trust the way he's put together.

I hope this isn't an ongoing problem with Citadel's metal miniatures; their plastics have been improving all the time, but I'd hate to think they've dropped the ball with the bigger multi-part metal castings.

I'm probably going to be a while with this one...